brain: please stop

i've just had one of those personal revelations. this time, about why i facilitate so much... for others. hooley dooley. self-reflection hurts. it's time to let the avoidance tendencies kick in. as usual. ow.

!(yak yak yak)

does anyone else find it rude that people talk through someone's gig?? it's excusable in say, a pub or club environment where the music is understood by performer and audience to be a secondary amusement. sure, commenting to your friends about the gig is cool, but don't go and hold a friggin' group conversation: when multiplicatively executed amongst a crowd squished into a small space, sound pressure levels are cumulatively loud enough to disturb the performance!! when you've paid to see/hear a gig, please show some respect for the performer and those around you and SHUT THE FUCK UP! thank you.

update: the good thing out of that gig is that my friend might have picked up a friend of a friend... :)

my foolish mind

ever since the collapse of my supervisor's empire upon his graceful exit, and now the restructure of our ridiculously useless parent research group, i've been trying to convince my peers to jump ship and follow our professor emperor. it's too late for me to transfer on paper but fuck, i hadn't considered just physically moving south with my sexy audio gear whilst leaving the paper trail here!

i am such an idiot sometimes (most of the time?): trying to save the labrats from lack of funding and quality supervision but neglecting my own (sinking) ship of fools...

national threat advisory: elevated

Waiver of Rights: I have read and understand that I hereby waive for the duration of my travel authorization obtained via ESTA any rights to review or appeal of a U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer's determination as to my admissibility, or to contest, other than on the basis of an application for asylum, any removal action arising from an application for admission under the Visa Waiver Program.

In addition to the above waiver, as a condition of each admission into the United States under the Visa Waiver Program, I agree that the submission of biometric identifiers (including fingerprints and photographs) during processing upon arrival in the United States shall reaffirm my waiver of any rights to review or appeal of a U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer's determination as to my admissibility, or to contest, other than on the basis of an application for asylum, any removal action arising from an application for admission under the Visa Waiver Program.

I thank you, Department of Homeland Security (Preserving Our Freedoms, Protecting America), for allowing me the privilege of waiving my above rights in order to travel to your gracious country.

team meat

today's ridiculous 'team meeting' was the most blatant display of academic power plays that i have had to sit through, even worse than a school meeting. circus acts included team leaders making it look like they know what's going on, supervisors questioning their own students' work, and students obediently attending but looking glumly bored - if only i had a camera to capture the very unimpressed expressions of my fellow labrats! i couldn't help but giggle at the silliness of it all. maybe one day i might take it all seriously... but then again maybe not.

germans and burma

hmm... what a day. whinge. doughnut. whinge. wine. more wine. and an enjoyably interesting evening! i've changed my mind about the german boy: apart from the fact he's already taken and leaving the country, upon closer intellectual inspection it proves true that first impressions are not always all that accurate.

and, a paper from myanmar! something i certainly haven't seen before. i wouldn't have expected the junta to fund research in semantic web service delivery...

fake up?

Re: "The Magic of Makeup", SMH, 22/08/08

"And there's so much psychology attached to it. When there's a financial downturn, sales of make-up go through the roof. It makes people feel good. You might not be able to afford your next car payment but you can go out and buy the newest lipstick."

How did we get to the point where warpaint is a daily ritual? To the point where some women feel 'naked' without their facepaint (I'm quoting a friend here)? Psychological indeed. And now male makeup is on the rise, on the street and on the shelf. Just in case it wasn't enough that women need to paint themselves on a daily basis, let's get the men onto it too! I really struggle with the cosmetics industry, an industry that relies on telling someone that they could do better (with this colour that is oh-so-very hot this season (darling))!

"And make-up is, after all, a fairly benign form of decoration, especially compared with the risks, costs and sometimes results of, say, plastic surgery."

Decoration perhaps but I don't know about benign: cumulative effects of absorbing the chemical cocktail that is make-up through our largest organ are relatively unknown. And, isn't the simple statistic of swallowing kilos of lipstick a year (or lifetime, depending on the source) enough to deter any logical being? Or does the quest for perceived beauty blatantly defy logic?

For the first time in my life a few friends and I partook in a 'beauty treatment' with our very own personal beauty consultant. I've always wanted to spend some time poking my eye out with a pencil, I've never quite gotten the hang of it. Turns out our consultant was a former psychologist now head-hunting new sales recruits whilst painting our lips the latest shades of 'chocolate caramel delight' or what have you. I'd rather eat the real thing than paint it on. Mind you, I apparently have combination skin and nice eyes (after I'd poked them out with said pencil), which was my (unwanted) lesson for the day. To me she was a deadly combination, concurrently analysing her clients' psychological status whilst preying on the weaknesses of their self-image.

Now I've gone and reminded myself of my intolerance for the smells (i.e., perfume) industry. My x used to say he liked buying smells for me, and I'm not going to take that personally but as a further example manifestation of our society's obsession with trying to not look nor smell human. Oh why oh why?!

buy by bye

it's so easy to get sucked in. cheap, cheaper, cheapest. bargain. sale. don't miss out. stocktake. closing down.

one has to consciously turn off all senses but enough sight to not blindly stumble about and get out of there as soon as humanly possible. why is a (perceived) bargain such an irresistible temptation? when did such an addictive consumer culture, goaded by cheap prices, seep in without us noticing? when did quality and other concerns just not even factor?

this distresses me.

go awaaaaayyyy

please, go away now. please don't send me poorly motivated, flittingly pseudo-philosophical emails. i'm not going to deal with you until you've dealt with yourself: you speak of fairness, well, i can't see how your current mindset and behaviour is fair upon anybody in any capacity. you are seriously deluding yourself if you really think that (repeatedly) telling yourself and others that you are happy and happy for the fortunes of others will even remotely convince anyone but you?! fool.

i cannot say anything but that your behaviour only tells me you've haven't really learnt anything (about yourself or me) at all. i don't even have to read between the lines to see that you don't understand what happened and why: learning from the past rather than ignoring it might be a start, and perhaps delve below the surface to where your defeatist attitude is the running rule more than ever. please help yourself and make shit happen, not sit there, wait, and whinge helplessly when when it doesn't! actions mean more than words, to me and most certainly for you. fuck, i really can't believe that you still haven't learnt that i am a functional communicator: i don't do small talk, especially not about other people!

i'm secretly hoping that this is all just a really bad joke but reality will unfortunately prove otherwise. so please, just get over yourself and whatever it is you're hanging onto. or, find some girl who is happy to have a sheep and puppy dog shadow. and that, my sadly foolish friend, is not anywhere remotely near me.

and you: you sleazy bastard, i can shrug off repeated inappropriately suggestive comments but you've taken it one step too far. i'm usually nonchalant about such happenings, but now you've offended my indifference! i haven't quite decided upon what kind of war to wage...

s/olympics/news;

far out, this is one of the final straws: world news delayed by the road cycling time trial! mind you, of all the olympic sports, i very much appreciate the beautiful landscape views of road cycling and marvel at people averaging at a speed that i struggle to sprint at. but, not at the cost of world news, dammit!!!

i feel inundated by the big o, in all senses of the phrase...

my job?

i'm boring myself to tears studying for a job that i don't want. i've already been through chocolate and coffee, and i'm still unmotivated. that's not a good sign. most normal people would love to have this job, and for that reason alone i feel terrible about what i am thinking and doing.

conscience aside, whinging about my self-inflicted situation to a friend has brought on an interesting sociological question: how important is your job description as a pickup?? not my usual topic material i must admit, but highly intriguing nonetheless. given that standard (boring) small talk will encompass asking what one does for a living, surely the response must have a significant effect on first impressions. how (quickly) do people form their judgements and apply stereotypes before asking about other things, be it extracurricular activities, philosophy, or the socially taboo topics of religious, political, and ideological views?

so, how does working for a perceived-to-be-cool company rate against being a researcher? or an academic? what about a freelance nerd? unemployed bum? perennial student? i'm keen to embark on some field studies to see what my friend and i can come up with, in particular, how various parameters of the unwitting subject affect the findings...

beware those unfortunate enough to come across two conspicuous clipboards wandering around bars/cafes/pubs/clubs/beach/mountains/museums or wherever it is people go these days...

engineers of jihad!

oh this is awesome: engineers of jihad

Source: EE Times

and previous research has found that engineers are more likely to be conservative in their political and religious views.

the study apparently made some engineers cranky: "one engineer commented that the study showed once again that sociology is a useless pursuit." Source: EE Times

the engineers who make such ludicrous (but typical) statements null their own arguments that the statistical sample size of the study was too small. such a response can only further support the hypothesised 'mindset' theory of the study!

i'm very much inspired to respond!!

con(temp(t)orary) art

it's been an unusually indulgent week in terms of contemporary art!

firstly, an experimental music gig so experimental that a pleb like me could not find the venue! what is it with the 'experimental' music scene and the need to share the aural love in warehouse-type locations that only those who are cool enough naturally or already know where they are going? is it to prop up egos of those who need to feel 'cool', 'in the know', and accepted as part of a (perceived) subculture? rampantly elitist and exclusive or just plain eye-rolling pathetic? there wasn't signage anywhere, not even on the actual venue; just the street number, thankfully made of reflective metal. if i hadn't seen a picture of the place on google street map (thank you to the google nerd who is obviously cooler than me), i really would have walked straight onto the tracks of central station. yes, i feel very welcome as a newcomer onto this friendly experimental music scene; in fact, i'm feeling the urge to be a newgoer.

in the olden days, when experimental musicians ran gigs in warehouses because that's all they could afford, fine. but why does this trend of industrial reverberant spaces continue? don't tell me that inner city warehouses are cheap: given the current real estate crisis, that's just bollocks. and why is patron comfort systematically ignored? a nice bar there might be, but two hours sitting on a (ikea-esque) stool does not do my bum nor back any favours. when patrons go to such gigs they make beelines for the scarce couches. so given that (self-declared cool) music people obviously prefer comfort over stool-uncool, why don't venues offer proper seating? not to mention proper insulation, which not only helps to control warehouse reverb (they weren't designed with acoustics in mind, fools) but keeps people toasty warm and not shivering as the night wears on. for that night's gig, i'm not even going to start on the actual 'musical' content. let's just say it involved the playing of a clarinet along with birdsong, too much of the echo plugin, and an occasionally tragic electronic backbeat (that made me shiver from the sheer aural repulsion more than the cold). a good clarinetist perhaps, but he should most certainly stay away from microphones and laptops. but to the relief of my ears, some interestingly unusual piano playing and awesome beat tones from a vibraphone kept me from combating lower back pain by walking out.

i'm not going to stop at contemporary music. a famous so-called contemporary art festival currently on show in the big smoke is ridiculously visual arts dominated. of the works that contain audio, the sound is 'composed' by visual artists. and of the three venues visited, about five of the works i'm still thinking about, the rest i left my passing thoughts right there with the so-called art.

i've not seen so much (highly praised) wank in such a short period of time. you know you're in trouble if the venues themselves are significantly more interesting than the art housed within! the industrial wasteland of one venue (girt by sea) proved to be much more fascinating in terms of its compositional randomness, natural degradation, and historical comment. again, why are industrial spaces so attractive to contemporary artists? i can see the point if you take the space into account as part of the work, but otherwise, is it just (unjustified) artistic cool to not be in a shiny sterile gallery but rather, sharing air with tetanus-inviting rusty motors under a tin roof that drips louder than the video sound? one particular building freaked me out: there were funky vibes there from people long gone, enhanced by the rank smell from the broken sewerage system and discarded clothes strewn around one room, eerily speaking on behalf of its former residents. the curators specifically stated that they left the building as they found it, and for what reason other than artistic cool and to make people physically uncomfortable? to make sure that we take the bird lice and furry sewerage home with us (the smell was worse than a public toilet in regional parts of china), or to make oh&s nerds run screaming? perhaps all of the above.

off the island and back onto land, the first installation at a relatively respectable museum simply had items that could be used for bomb making placed onto a table. that's it. any ten year old with internet access and within walking distance to bunnings could have done the same, if not better. another work was simply a postcard framed on both sides, with a seemingly philosophically chosen picture and sentimental words scribbled on the back. and, a framed cheque (in fact, two separate artists submitted this)? i don't know how such uncreative, unimaginative, and in short, boring art can end up in such prestigious places and be highly commended; looked more like last minute brain explosions to me. not so long ago a documentary questioned whether a four year old could produce 'better' abstract art than famous practioners; perhaps the same exploration should be undertaken with contemporary (visual) art?!

granted, i was intrigued by the speakers embedded in bike tyres, moving pictures reflected onto a cylindrical mirror, bubble-oozing installation, fan-forced light propulsion mobile, underground tunnel soundscape (but i'm biased: i love the reverb and acoustics from tunnels and under bridges), and video work with two screens facing each other: one of an oil stock trading floor, the other of oil workers in the niger delta area. what i really don't understand is some artists' fascination with industrial spaces and how contemporary art in any medium is defined and applauded: the ideas might (sometimes) be there but with such poor implementations, where is the skill?! it's not so apparent to me these days. has contemporary art become an excuse??

but, not all contemporary art is rant-worthy: some well understood and played ligeti went down very well indeed on friday night...

more or less timing

oh no. this is so inconvenient... in timing. things in my head aren't meant to eventuate! rolling around on my fitness ball is not giving me any answers. nor any fitness.

canned spam

TWO amusing days in a row... what i have done to deserve such luck??

<big company>, highly involved with online services, just rang for a phone interview, except that i knew nothing about it! hr were meant to email me details with timing and tips on how to prepare (in my spare time?). it turns out that <big company>'s own email service spam filtered their email from my inbox! that's just too damn funny for a friday afternoon...

well, at least the email to reshedule the interview just made it through their spam filters!