moved

this blog has moved. same username, different domain. find me if you want.

airport

i like airports. there's a fair bit of waiting, but armed with a laptop and headphones i'm a happy chappy. with a myriad of destinations announced at close frequency, it feels like people are going places. and, well, they probably are. i like being in a constant flux, if that makes sense.

i like watching the little buggys zoom around the tarmac, loosely adhering to their own road rules and markings. my friend, once a baggage handler, was utterly busted by his boss for doing a burnout in a baggage buggy (possibly with luggage in tow); not at all due to the ridiculous turnaround time expected for baggage (un)loading - the figure of 7 minutes per flight comes to mind.

there's a guy sitting near me at the boarding gate who reminds me very much of a phd friend. he's ambiguously asian, and oozes collected cool. it nearly makes me miss my friends.

i must be bored: i'm talking crap.

time warp

i'm house-sitting for a friend, and it feels as though i've adopted someone else's life for a week. the 9-5 routine is an easy one to fall into, but i suspect it has the potential to suck time into voids, never to be seen again.

should i continue down this path, i have a feeling that i might wake up 30 years later, doing the same things as i am now, making the small incremental differences and wondering how i managed to achieve fuck all. that doesn't at all appeal, and it seems... mind-stiflingly boring?

there is hope

i've just met with a really interesting guy here, sort of like an older version of me! it turns out you can go on phd nerd exchange, and organisations do support such placements despite the complete disinterest shown to me by my parent institution. he's been trying to encourage students, undergrad and postgrad, to travel and take academic and volunteer opportunities, but no fish are biting! i cannot believe nor understand this; if i was a student here i would have jumped before the starter pistol fired.

exchange is far too late for me now, but what i can do is just get up and go, take my cv, and hit the ground running with it. there's work abounds and without attachment to a parent organisation, which means more flexibility and less bureaucracy. and he knows people. i need no second invitation.

oh why didn't i meet this guy a few years ago?!

unimpresssed espresso

it's 10 to 9, and i am drinking the supposedly best espresso in this town; but i'm not convinced. it's tasty and gives me the hit that i need, but it's nothing special. although famed for being a cafe-culture town, i'm much more enamoured with the ridiculously nice hot chocolates. sitting in the middle of one of the many inner-city alleys with cafes bursting on the street, i watch people rush to get to wherever it is they need to be. they're mainly suits, with some student-types thrown in for some variety. trains evidently arrive every five minutes or so as the flux of people oscillates this frequently...

on the whole, people are well-dressed here. not necessarily dressed-up, but they evidently put some thought into attire and presentation. this has become a bit of a sore point for me recently as i have realised what bad fashion i have. but at the same time, i don't care enough to do anything about it.

i've made a list of the places i need to drink/eat at this week. inner-city convenience and relatively effective and cheap public transport is too tempting to not indulge in. so i only managed to con travel concession for three days, before the pigeons told me off but thankfully without financial repercussions.

i wonder how many hot chocolates i can consume in a week without making myself ill...

url bandit

someone is toying with me. i made a typo trying to get to this blog, and look what happened: http://dereverb.blogpsot.com/

yech.

home bitter home

such a rude welcome home: hopping onto the airport train into town (note: i didn't call it downtown!), with a 15kg backpack on my back, a daypack on my front, and carrying a laptop, no one remotely budged to offer me a seat on the rush hour train. this happened on the train to the north shore too, not just on the airport line. i was slouching near a lady using a walking cane, who was also forced to stand by the neatly pressed suits with eyes down, clearly avoiding eye contact. at what point did simple courtesy or even basic manners escape the common commuter? the lady from aqis who confiscated my beef and turkey jerky was more friendly and humane than the knobs on the train.

it always strikes me when i come back from overseas, especially when returning from highly cultured and vibrant places in europe and asia, how stagnant it can be here. how and when did the daily grind get to people's spirits too? i'm not talking about the religious spirit (because there isn't one dammit) but just one's energy for life, to want to be alive and enjoy being on this planet. is this what life is really about, scowling on the morning train commute avoiding eye contact, or is this just what happens when life gets too comfortable with a nice medicare system and government pension awaiting you?

screw this. i'm heading south to the international arts festival for some vibes. i hear there's a production of shakespeare's romeo+juliet set in pizzerias, performed in lithuanian. food and the bard? yes please.

leaving las vegas

i really hate casinos, particularly so when the most stupid people in america (the world?) seem to congregate there. vegas is a seedy place, and what's worse is that it's proud to be. money talks, and that's about all that the town runs on. the casinos subsidise more than one can think of, including state income tax (or lack thereof)! dirty money?

there's a much better vegas in miniland, legoland. the same buildings (just slightly smaller), without the seedy factor although also minus the carbon-puffing flashy lights. all of miniland, though entirely us-focused, captured my attention, particularly mini-chinatown in san francisco...

la di da

being in LA is akin to being in a really bad movie that i can't press the stop (or even pause) button on.

the LAPD really are an over-zealous lot: i've been here a day and a half and have seen two bomb squads, a truck fleet, multiple cars, helicopters, motorcycles, and bikes. i'm recalling that quite a few of the reality cop shows feature edgy LAPD officers, probably because they instigate enough action, even on the time-poor/lazy jaywalker, for a weekly half hour TV slot. i have yet to see SWAT and riot police (on horseback) though, but there is still the rest of the week to go.

hollywood is literally around the corner from the not-so-affluent mexican area. as soon as you turn into hollywood boulevard, it is instantly a different world of shiny lights, hints of the oscars, celebrity stars and foot/handprints, gawking tourists, and street performers (out of work actors?) posing as marilyn monroe, captain jack sparrow, charlie chaplin, and even spiderman. i don't know how people can live in such (ethnic) segregation; the boundaries between neighbourhoods are invisible but extremely clearly defined.

parts of downtown are interesting though, due to the mexican influence. it's got a bit of life to it, rather than the (materialistic) glamour and image that seems to plague other parts of the county. i'm impressed with the food and friendly locals, and i love the mexican gear that fills the (touristy) market. i don't even know what i ate and drank but damn it was good. and after hand signalling with a shop assistant who spoke to me only in spanish, i have learnt about the mexican version of bingo.

santa monica is overrated. sure, forrest gump may have made it there, but in reality it houses a touristy pier and beaches full of locals exercising madly or hooning by in their expensive cars blaring bad music. there's also an interestingly high percentage of mentally-odd characters. but, and this shows my age and bad taste, the lifeguard gear in baywatch looked remarkably like those on the beaches i saw today. a friend did say that the america featured on tv is mostly in LA, and i'm finding this to be an alarmingly true statement: baywatch, hollywood, LAPD (highway patrol!), and the original beverly hills (90210). i'm not going to orange county to see how accurate the OC is, i've seen enough affluent caucasian neighbourhoods.

i'm being dragged kicking and screaming to vegas tomorrow. it's the bribe (and supposed stopover) for the grand canyon, which is what i do want to see. i'm going to cause trouble in vegas, or run around in the desert and chase tumbleweeds, just to get away from rampant money spinning.

but, LA is not all completely rotten with spaghetti freeways and one-person cars: the bus driver to santa monica (on the number 10 from downtown), was the best driver i have ever come across. not for his motoring skills, but for his character and personality: saying hello and goodbye to every passenger, greeting regulars like one would greet a long lost friend (hugs and all), and politely defusing a sticky situation between a crazy man and a stubborn young lady. his cheery demeanour made the long trip to the coast worthwhile...

cowboys

denver is weird. the people really love obama. in the past four hours of wandering around downtown i have been approached by at least five people asking if i have registered to vote. one guy at the university of colorado, even upon learning that i was australian and thus unable to exercise my democratic actions on his soil, insisted that i take obama posters with me back home. whilst continuing my tertiary education tour of the country, i ran into a celtic dancing competition (for kids?) at uc; quite odd indeed.

obama fanatics aside, there are a lot of homeless people here, idling lonely on the numerous park benches littered about town. people seem to like to sit around and chat, watch other people, or simply loiter. it's a little weird sometimes.

and there are cowboys! i wasn't actually expecting any, but there was one at the airport, in a cowboy hat with a horse saddle in tow. and, there are metro-cowboys scattered around town, especially in the cowboy store i found in 'lodo'. and, if you've subjected yourself to the movie 'coyote ugly', it's actually a real bar in downtown denver. yikes.

there aren't many asians here. lots of mexicans, caucasian americans, africans, and african-americans. some people gave me odd looks. but maybe that was because i was wearing a nerdy shirt. is open solaris not cool?

vice pres

as a visitor to the states that are united, i could not say no to watching the vice presidental debate live with a group of locals. and here's the live blog for it...

both parties don't support same-sex marriage, but have variable views on civil rights?! palin, you talk but your words are ridiculous. now i'm getting cranky over your tirade on iraq and fighting (supposed) insurgents. please learn to be succinct!!

so the locals think palin is doing better than they thought (or hoped!); damn she must have previously sounded like a true fool... i'm personally impressed with biden: composed, calm, and delivers a sound, at times crushing, argument against the verbose palin.

nuclear arms and pakistan. now you're on about iraq, iran, and israel as well. oh now north korea and the castro brothers?! palin! stop dropping proper nouns and answer the stupid question.

two-state solution? ally with israel? second holocaust?! are you just sensationalising? oh so you both love israel. awwwww. nice, tight and strong response from biden though: indeed there isn't a clear deviation from bush's current policies. nice one. palin, why are you back onto north korea?

i have to say palin is talking very well, so long as you don't actually listen to nor think about what she's saying. she looks like she knows what she's talking about. good eye contact with the camera, biden at times lacks.

ooooo... labeling as an interventionist... interesting distinction by biden on action in sudan versus intervention. so you both somewhat agree, with the matter of alaskan oil funds thrown in. interesting response. we're back on bin laden. again.

how did we get onto wall st corruption and the working class family? from bin laden and varying opinions in each administration? palin, what planet are you on? ooooo... killing jobs and the economy. scary.

doggone it? smooth, palin. and now she's personalising education. clever unless you can see through it. there's some groaning and head smacking in the lounge room right now.

energy independence? families with special needs children? focus, palin, focus!

oooo... heartland of america?! working mother? working families? very rudd-esque. sweet response from biden, even personalised just like plain likes to. palin, would you please stop saying maverick?? oh biden don't take on palin's maverick addiction, please.

oh you're going to fight for the average american family. i'm touched. fight for your freedom: economic and national security. that's a lot of fighting. and you mean literally as well as metaphorically.

i think i like the mediator best.

toad in silicon valley

so i kinda like it here in the bay: it oozes variety, vibe, food, and culture. i love how little italy is across the street from chinatown (coffee and cake followed by yum cha?), and that even though the public transport is quite efficient and effective, bikes zip in and out of traffic. riders are duly respected: there is ample bike parking around the place, on buses, and on the trains. the people are just so friendly it throws me off a little, from the bus/tram drivers to shop assistants and locals on the street. i'm not used to courtesy.

off to silicon valley today to see what the mothership is up to, and on the morning commute in, you can tell that most work in the valley of si: there's a certain look and feel that seems to come hand in hand. after getting lost amongst the sandwiches of tech corp buildings, the mothership looks fun and pretty on the surface; but scratch the epidermis and it might bleed. i ask about the changing culture and it is indeed an growing hierarchy. but perhaps if it's fun enough it won't matter? gadgets and gidgets galore; the (unnervingly) happy people mingle in with the laundry, swimming pool, gym, cafes of free food, volleyball court, and soccer field. as nice as the folks are, it's an insular family. keep them comfortable to keep them in? people walk around with laptops as one would walk a pet dog...

i visit stanford to have a look see and am very impressed with their vibe (love the bikes!), and blown away by a book of > 200 pages of lecture notes on the fourier transform. delivered for a 2nd year subject, i doubt our 4th years could understand the depth of material; some of it is beyond me too. i can see what a difference a good institution can make: it's not just about how smart you are. tertiary education taught properly, combined with the innovative attitude of the folks on the mothership, is really refreshing and uplifting. on the mothership, to be allowed and encouraged to voice random ideas amongst intelligent people without automatically waiting for the 'lack of funding' or 'it's too hard' or 'i don't care' response, was an experience that occurs far too rarely for me. it's far too stagnant at home, intellectually and otherwise. that's extremely clear to me now.

back in the bay, i've been here less than 60 hours and i can hear that i sound different; i might actually be hearing my own accent! i've had to pick up a local accent so the locals can understand what i'm saying. hopefully the accent doesn't stick...

cattle branding

how and when did a tech company become a brand? why is it such a novelty, commanding girly shrieks of joy and a flurry of photos, to see big logos, t-shirts, pens, notebooks, or anything stamped with said brand? "oh it's so cool!" is the catchphrase that even i feel forced to emit just to maintain a semblance of (fake) enthusiasm for group inclusion (shame on me). but in reality, i'm unimpressed, uninspired, and even aghast: are you really this easily bought?

i'm here for the ideals, philosophy, and activism, not for the kudos and cute gadgets. i refuse to be branded. i refuse to participate in branding. people offered me a branded shirt for the photos: thanks but no thanks. is this not free advertising with not-so-subtle sales pitches thrown in? good intentions, yes, lovely people, yes, but i have to question the (corporate) kickbacks. do we return home as glorified salespeople unwittingly masqueraded as 'ambassadors'? very clever and cheap marketing, say my pessimism and cynicism.

if this were really about tech, we wouldn't just be discussing computers, and within that realm, only software. it's not all about programming! some people see this, some adamantly don't. the biggest chasm i see is a complete ignorance of hardware: without hardware, software does not exist. these mentalities and narrow-minded, boxed attitudes of some are what keeps our industry and its members dry and boring. how big is your world, really?

it's all about perspective: whilst you orgasm over the free food and games, the rest of the world continues to crash and burn. it is a big bubble here, where all creature comforts are provided for. the bubble sucks people in and keeps them comfortably engaged; no need to think too hard about about what they do (in a philosophical sense) versus what they could be doing with their intelligence and skills. the company culture attracts a certain type of person, which is probably why everyone seems to get along so well superficially (like the happy christians).

i feel more determined than ever to continue being an impractical idealist living in the big bad world; you cannot buy nor put blinders on me. but, maybe i'm analysing and thinking too much and i've just forgotten how to have fun. or maybe this isn't fun, maybe it's the price paid for selling my soul.

laptop $$$

i'd really like to understand how dell derive their pricing schedules:

inspirons in .au:


inspirons in .us:

15" products are comparably priced, and au doesn't even get the 14" model, but the latest inspirons in 9"and 13" form, are almost twice the price in au compared to the us! will the new inspirons drop in price over time in au i wonder...

update: this is what i have been looking for!
http://cdimage.ubuntu.com/ports/releases/hardy/release/

oh i am a happy nerd right now - why do they hide such things?!

seven or nine?

um, who the fuck cares about this kid's tantys?

shame on you fairfax, for emulating the daily telegraph. did you surreptitiously replace some decent journos (whilst on strike) with scabs pinched from seven and/or nine's trashy mags?

and, what is the mca up to these days? heads up? mine will stay down in the books, methinks.

i see red

oh why wasn't the red report my bedtime story two months ago?! looks good, but i find it all very contrary, to be honest: some high-ups at my institution are very involved in the reports and yet, it's notably difficult, from the bottom up perspective, to actually get accurate numbers of and information about casual academics at my institution.

it's encouraging and interesting that such a report has been commissioned at this time (in relation to enterprise bargaining) and even more intriguing that higher ed institutions are partaking in such studies but steadfastly refusing to actually do anything about the effects of increasingly casualised tertiary teaching. at street level it is very much hush-hush, with conditions and employment subject to the whims of each faculty, and the entire process is generally swept under the table (financially and otherwise).

this disparity between the clouds and the dirt was present before, during and continues after the report: i had a hand in reviewing my institution's draft casual academic policy late last year, and it was so ambiguous that it left us all ripe for abuse (most decisions were left at faculty level with no provision for policing!) . but at least they have a (voluntarily introduced) policy, and today my school passed it's own policy completely on the initiative of one staff member! so maybe things are looking up?

perhaps, but unfortunately, at the end of the day, it's the numbers, not policies (nor numbers of policies!) that do the talking. so until we get our hands on some numerical evidence it may prove difficult to change my institution's attitude towards and treatment of casual academics. maybe the statistical hardships are a 'feature' and perhaps a 'privilege' of my being at said institution but hey, i like a challenge. a thorn i shall continue to be...

recycled paper

just to get published at a local conference organised by the latest ass he has decided to pucker up to, my supervisor asked me to write up a quick paper today, and it doesn't even have to be remotely reasonable! in fact, he suggested that i just rehash one of my rejected papers, all of which i have mentally locked away in a cupboard and thrown away the key because they are fundamentally flawed in some way. and, this all happened in the staff tea room, for all and sundry to witness and hear; these whisperings are not clandestine!

fuck. i need get out of here. the phrase blatantly unethical comes to mind but i can't be bothered fighting weak (black) sheep.

brain: please stop

i've just had one of those personal revelations. this time, about why i facilitate so much... for others. hooley dooley. self-reflection hurts. it's time to let the avoidance tendencies kick in. as usual. ow.

!(yak yak yak)

does anyone else find it rude that people talk through someone's gig?? it's excusable in say, a pub or club environment where the music is understood by performer and audience to be a secondary amusement. sure, commenting to your friends about the gig is cool, but don't go and hold a friggin' group conversation: when multiplicatively executed amongst a crowd squished into a small space, sound pressure levels are cumulatively loud enough to disturb the performance!! when you've paid to see/hear a gig, please show some respect for the performer and those around you and SHUT THE FUCK UP! thank you.

update: the good thing out of that gig is that my friend might have picked up a friend of a friend... :)

my foolish mind

ever since the collapse of my supervisor's empire upon his graceful exit, and now the restructure of our ridiculously useless parent research group, i've been trying to convince my peers to jump ship and follow our professor emperor. it's too late for me to transfer on paper but fuck, i hadn't considered just physically moving south with my sexy audio gear whilst leaving the paper trail here!

i am such an idiot sometimes (most of the time?): trying to save the labrats from lack of funding and quality supervision but neglecting my own (sinking) ship of fools...

national threat advisory: elevated

Waiver of Rights: I have read and understand that I hereby waive for the duration of my travel authorization obtained via ESTA any rights to review or appeal of a U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer's determination as to my admissibility, or to contest, other than on the basis of an application for asylum, any removal action arising from an application for admission under the Visa Waiver Program.

In addition to the above waiver, as a condition of each admission into the United States under the Visa Waiver Program, I agree that the submission of biometric identifiers (including fingerprints and photographs) during processing upon arrival in the United States shall reaffirm my waiver of any rights to review or appeal of a U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer's determination as to my admissibility, or to contest, other than on the basis of an application for asylum, any removal action arising from an application for admission under the Visa Waiver Program.

I thank you, Department of Homeland Security (Preserving Our Freedoms, Protecting America), for allowing me the privilege of waiving my above rights in order to travel to your gracious country.

team meat

today's ridiculous 'team meeting' was the most blatant display of academic power plays that i have had to sit through, even worse than a school meeting. circus acts included team leaders making it look like they know what's going on, supervisors questioning their own students' work, and students obediently attending but looking glumly bored - if only i had a camera to capture the very unimpressed expressions of my fellow labrats! i couldn't help but giggle at the silliness of it all. maybe one day i might take it all seriously... but then again maybe not.

germans and burma

hmm... what a day. whinge. doughnut. whinge. wine. more wine. and an enjoyably interesting evening! i've changed my mind about the german boy: apart from the fact he's already taken and leaving the country, upon closer intellectual inspection it proves true that first impressions are not always all that accurate.

and, a paper from myanmar! something i certainly haven't seen before. i wouldn't have expected the junta to fund research in semantic web service delivery...

fake up?

Re: "The Magic of Makeup", SMH, 22/08/08

"And there's so much psychology attached to it. When there's a financial downturn, sales of make-up go through the roof. It makes people feel good. You might not be able to afford your next car payment but you can go out and buy the newest lipstick."

How did we get to the point where warpaint is a daily ritual? To the point where some women feel 'naked' without their facepaint (I'm quoting a friend here)? Psychological indeed. And now male makeup is on the rise, on the street and on the shelf. Just in case it wasn't enough that women need to paint themselves on a daily basis, let's get the men onto it too! I really struggle with the cosmetics industry, an industry that relies on telling someone that they could do better (with this colour that is oh-so-very hot this season (darling))!

"And make-up is, after all, a fairly benign form of decoration, especially compared with the risks, costs and sometimes results of, say, plastic surgery."

Decoration perhaps but I don't know about benign: cumulative effects of absorbing the chemical cocktail that is make-up through our largest organ are relatively unknown. And, isn't the simple statistic of swallowing kilos of lipstick a year (or lifetime, depending on the source) enough to deter any logical being? Or does the quest for perceived beauty blatantly defy logic?

For the first time in my life a few friends and I partook in a 'beauty treatment' with our very own personal beauty consultant. I've always wanted to spend some time poking my eye out with a pencil, I've never quite gotten the hang of it. Turns out our consultant was a former psychologist now head-hunting new sales recruits whilst painting our lips the latest shades of 'chocolate caramel delight' or what have you. I'd rather eat the real thing than paint it on. Mind you, I apparently have combination skin and nice eyes (after I'd poked them out with said pencil), which was my (unwanted) lesson for the day. To me she was a deadly combination, concurrently analysing her clients' psychological status whilst preying on the weaknesses of their self-image.

Now I've gone and reminded myself of my intolerance for the smells (i.e., perfume) industry. My x used to say he liked buying smells for me, and I'm not going to take that personally but as a further example manifestation of our society's obsession with trying to not look nor smell human. Oh why oh why?!

buy by bye

it's so easy to get sucked in. cheap, cheaper, cheapest. bargain. sale. don't miss out. stocktake. closing down.

one has to consciously turn off all senses but enough sight to not blindly stumble about and get out of there as soon as humanly possible. why is a (perceived) bargain such an irresistible temptation? when did such an addictive consumer culture, goaded by cheap prices, seep in without us noticing? when did quality and other concerns just not even factor?

this distresses me.

go awaaaaayyyy

please, go away now. please don't send me poorly motivated, flittingly pseudo-philosophical emails. i'm not going to deal with you until you've dealt with yourself: you speak of fairness, well, i can't see how your current mindset and behaviour is fair upon anybody in any capacity. you are seriously deluding yourself if you really think that (repeatedly) telling yourself and others that you are happy and happy for the fortunes of others will even remotely convince anyone but you?! fool.

i cannot say anything but that your behaviour only tells me you've haven't really learnt anything (about yourself or me) at all. i don't even have to read between the lines to see that you don't understand what happened and why: learning from the past rather than ignoring it might be a start, and perhaps delve below the surface to where your defeatist attitude is the running rule more than ever. please help yourself and make shit happen, not sit there, wait, and whinge helplessly when when it doesn't! actions mean more than words, to me and most certainly for you. fuck, i really can't believe that you still haven't learnt that i am a functional communicator: i don't do small talk, especially not about other people!

i'm secretly hoping that this is all just a really bad joke but reality will unfortunately prove otherwise. so please, just get over yourself and whatever it is you're hanging onto. or, find some girl who is happy to have a sheep and puppy dog shadow. and that, my sadly foolish friend, is not anywhere remotely near me.

and you: you sleazy bastard, i can shrug off repeated inappropriately suggestive comments but you've taken it one step too far. i'm usually nonchalant about such happenings, but now you've offended my indifference! i haven't quite decided upon what kind of war to wage...

s/olympics/news;

far out, this is one of the final straws: world news delayed by the road cycling time trial! mind you, of all the olympic sports, i very much appreciate the beautiful landscape views of road cycling and marvel at people averaging at a speed that i struggle to sprint at. but, not at the cost of world news, dammit!!!

i feel inundated by the big o, in all senses of the phrase...

my job?

i'm boring myself to tears studying for a job that i don't want. i've already been through chocolate and coffee, and i'm still unmotivated. that's not a good sign. most normal people would love to have this job, and for that reason alone i feel terrible about what i am thinking and doing.

conscience aside, whinging about my self-inflicted situation to a friend has brought on an interesting sociological question: how important is your job description as a pickup?? not my usual topic material i must admit, but highly intriguing nonetheless. given that standard (boring) small talk will encompass asking what one does for a living, surely the response must have a significant effect on first impressions. how (quickly) do people form their judgements and apply stereotypes before asking about other things, be it extracurricular activities, philosophy, or the socially taboo topics of religious, political, and ideological views?

so, how does working for a perceived-to-be-cool company rate against being a researcher? or an academic? what about a freelance nerd? unemployed bum? perennial student? i'm keen to embark on some field studies to see what my friend and i can come up with, in particular, how various parameters of the unwitting subject affect the findings...

beware those unfortunate enough to come across two conspicuous clipboards wandering around bars/cafes/pubs/clubs/beach/mountains/museums or wherever it is people go these days...

engineers of jihad!

oh this is awesome: engineers of jihad

Source: EE Times

and previous research has found that engineers are more likely to be conservative in their political and religious views.

the study apparently made some engineers cranky: "one engineer commented that the study showed once again that sociology is a useless pursuit." Source: EE Times

the engineers who make such ludicrous (but typical) statements null their own arguments that the statistical sample size of the study was too small. such a response can only further support the hypothesised 'mindset' theory of the study!

i'm very much inspired to respond!!

con(temp(t)orary) art

it's been an unusually indulgent week in terms of contemporary art!

firstly, an experimental music gig so experimental that a pleb like me could not find the venue! what is it with the 'experimental' music scene and the need to share the aural love in warehouse-type locations that only those who are cool enough naturally or already know where they are going? is it to prop up egos of those who need to feel 'cool', 'in the know', and accepted as part of a (perceived) subculture? rampantly elitist and exclusive or just plain eye-rolling pathetic? there wasn't signage anywhere, not even on the actual venue; just the street number, thankfully made of reflective metal. if i hadn't seen a picture of the place on google street map (thank you to the google nerd who is obviously cooler than me), i really would have walked straight onto the tracks of central station. yes, i feel very welcome as a newcomer onto this friendly experimental music scene; in fact, i'm feeling the urge to be a newgoer.

in the olden days, when experimental musicians ran gigs in warehouses because that's all they could afford, fine. but why does this trend of industrial reverberant spaces continue? don't tell me that inner city warehouses are cheap: given the current real estate crisis, that's just bollocks. and why is patron comfort systematically ignored? a nice bar there might be, but two hours sitting on a (ikea-esque) stool does not do my bum nor back any favours. when patrons go to such gigs they make beelines for the scarce couches. so given that (self-declared cool) music people obviously prefer comfort over stool-uncool, why don't venues offer proper seating? not to mention proper insulation, which not only helps to control warehouse reverb (they weren't designed with acoustics in mind, fools) but keeps people toasty warm and not shivering as the night wears on. for that night's gig, i'm not even going to start on the actual 'musical' content. let's just say it involved the playing of a clarinet along with birdsong, too much of the echo plugin, and an occasionally tragic electronic backbeat (that made me shiver from the sheer aural repulsion more than the cold). a good clarinetist perhaps, but he should most certainly stay away from microphones and laptops. but to the relief of my ears, some interestingly unusual piano playing and awesome beat tones from a vibraphone kept me from combating lower back pain by walking out.

i'm not going to stop at contemporary music. a famous so-called contemporary art festival currently on show in the big smoke is ridiculously visual arts dominated. of the works that contain audio, the sound is 'composed' by visual artists. and of the three venues visited, about five of the works i'm still thinking about, the rest i left my passing thoughts right there with the so-called art.

i've not seen so much (highly praised) wank in such a short period of time. you know you're in trouble if the venues themselves are significantly more interesting than the art housed within! the industrial wasteland of one venue (girt by sea) proved to be much more fascinating in terms of its compositional randomness, natural degradation, and historical comment. again, why are industrial spaces so attractive to contemporary artists? i can see the point if you take the space into account as part of the work, but otherwise, is it just (unjustified) artistic cool to not be in a shiny sterile gallery but rather, sharing air with tetanus-inviting rusty motors under a tin roof that drips louder than the video sound? one particular building freaked me out: there were funky vibes there from people long gone, enhanced by the rank smell from the broken sewerage system and discarded clothes strewn around one room, eerily speaking on behalf of its former residents. the curators specifically stated that they left the building as they found it, and for what reason other than artistic cool and to make people physically uncomfortable? to make sure that we take the bird lice and furry sewerage home with us (the smell was worse than a public toilet in regional parts of china), or to make oh&s nerds run screaming? perhaps all of the above.

off the island and back onto land, the first installation at a relatively respectable museum simply had items that could be used for bomb making placed onto a table. that's it. any ten year old with internet access and within walking distance to bunnings could have done the same, if not better. another work was simply a postcard framed on both sides, with a seemingly philosophically chosen picture and sentimental words scribbled on the back. and, a framed cheque (in fact, two separate artists submitted this)? i don't know how such uncreative, unimaginative, and in short, boring art can end up in such prestigious places and be highly commended; looked more like last minute brain explosions to me. not so long ago a documentary questioned whether a four year old could produce 'better' abstract art than famous practioners; perhaps the same exploration should be undertaken with contemporary (visual) art?!

granted, i was intrigued by the speakers embedded in bike tyres, moving pictures reflected onto a cylindrical mirror, bubble-oozing installation, fan-forced light propulsion mobile, underground tunnel soundscape (but i'm biased: i love the reverb and acoustics from tunnels and under bridges), and video work with two screens facing each other: one of an oil stock trading floor, the other of oil workers in the niger delta area. what i really don't understand is some artists' fascination with industrial spaces and how contemporary art in any medium is defined and applauded: the ideas might (sometimes) be there but with such poor implementations, where is the skill?! it's not so apparent to me these days. has contemporary art become an excuse??

but, not all contemporary art is rant-worthy: some well understood and played ligeti went down very well indeed on friday night...

more or less timing

oh no. this is so inconvenient... in timing. things in my head aren't meant to eventuate! rolling around on my fitness ball is not giving me any answers. nor any fitness.

canned spam

TWO amusing days in a row... what i have done to deserve such luck??

<big company>, highly involved with online services, just rang for a phone interview, except that i knew nothing about it! hr were meant to email me details with timing and tips on how to prepare (in my spare time?). it turns out that <big company>'s own email service spam filtered their email from my inbox! that's just too damn funny for a friday afternoon...

well, at least the email to reshedule the interview just made it through their spam filters!

a new crusade!

an inspirational day today: ran a first year class with engineers who actually communicated with each other and had a vibe of (academic) community amongst peers, donated a carload of unloved crts to an organisation who actually take all electrical and computer equipment (working or not!), and heard about a potentially very interesting boy who is into unionism!

i've been looking for an organisation that takes old computer equipment, particularly crts, for so long, it's beyond a relief to finally find one. and not only do they take computers but also any electrical equipment. hooray! so, a new ewaste crusade: starting with resetting the institutional default for unloved working furniture and electricals/computers from death by skip binning to donation to charity. this will probably be the last thing i do at this forsaken institution before throwing in the paperwork for my backpack and passport.

robb trade phonics

1. robb
"I think Australians don't necessarily expect us to wait for the rest of the world but they certainly expect us not to get too far ahead of the rest of the world," said andy robb. although this is in relation to the opposition's internal scratchings about climate change policy, if that's the view that a shadow minister has about the people of this country: fuck. no wonder we're so behind in countless ways.

2. trade
hooley dooley. in one my my rare outings to the real world, i found fairtrade coffee as part of aldi's in-house organic food range. first coles, now aldi: someone must be campaigning their pants off (not literally, i hope) to make this happen. someone else also told me that mccafe is now serving rainforest alliance coffee. more pants-off campaigning? given that some maccas outlets in the us sell fairtrade coffee, the decisions would not appear to be from the very top down. and, starbucks seems to be on the way out! to the fair trade campaigners who wanted to keep the movement out of the mainstream, what say you?

3. (ambio)phonics
i knew there had to be a more mathematically and compositionally sound method for multichannel reproduction other than stereo diffusion (which makes me so very cranky): ambiophonics! but, no amount of equations and psychoacoustic theory can dispute listening tests, so to the chamber i go...

rainman

there's a man in a raincoat outside my window spraying it with high pressure water. just because the body corp wants the pretty yellow townhouses to be shiny yellow, not black-streaked yellow.

drought? what drought? there's no drought when i want my house to look pretty and be dirt free... groundwater? the runoff won't go there, surely...

i need a printer

it's back!
http://imslp.org/index.php?title=Main_Page&

and also:
http://www.mutopiaproject.org/
http://www.musopen.com/

boy boy boy girl boy boy

<rant type="braindump">
recent happenings have brought gender bias issues in technology-based professions to the fore (again). why is this a problem?! perhaps that statement is ambiguous: to clarify, why is such a bias grossly apparent in primarily australia, us, and britain? what is the difference between these countries and cultures, when compared to europe and (south, east, south-east) asia where the so-called gender divide in IT, computer science, and engineering is much less pronounced? a quick google scholar search reveals that research (from countries with the gender divide) has shown that women prefer 'contextual' computing over, say, technology for nerd kudos (not that there is anything wrong with that!). but now that the journal papers and books showing this have been published, why has nothing changed? why are we still sitting on our hands and whinging about it?

granting scholarships to encourage (tertiary) enrolment has noble intentions but can be a double edged sword. on one hand, people jump for the money, some with sincere interest in the area and some not. but, for every scholarship that comes out, the typical response from male peers is a la "what about a scholarship for men?!". with this thinking often comes resentment and potential further alienation and (negative) attention drawn to the minority. a good thing? who knows. money certainly talks though: with the current resource boom in our sunny country throwing stupidly high paying engineering jobs around, the number of women entering mining engineering has correspondingly increased. so, with engineering managers the highest paid professionals here, why has this not been used as a (capitalist) selling point? but, when people choose a profession for the money, and they might not necessarily be any good at or enjoy it, is this the best way to propagate gender membership?!

now with technology in every nook and cranny (ubiquitous computing being the appropriate industry buzzword), the young 'uns are all growing up with nerd gear from day one; even schools teach powerpoint in year one! so what happens between year one and year twelve? societal pressues kick in? stereotypes formed from the media and parents? attitudes and expectations changed by peers? these are the types of issues that need to be studied, and to change such widespread cultural bugbears is no mean feat.

what does this all mean professionally? what happens to people in educational and work environments with a sizeable gender bias towards males? what kind of ideas, solutions, and products do gender unbalanced teams come up with and build? perhaps technology-oriented professions should pause and take a long hard look at themselves to see if the cultures and mindsets propagated are hindering their own progress and development.

yes, some people may treat you differently if you are a minority. but this is only if you let them. yes, you might have to work harder to 'prove' yourself to some people. but this is their problem, not yours. people will respect good work (well, they friggin' better!) and if they don't because of their gender issues and it bothers you then do something about it. at least try to make sure it doesn't happen to the next generation: start changing people's stereotypes, thinking, expectations, and attitutes, however mis-informed they may or may not be. and, with one third of the world's population living in india and china, making sure that our stereotypes and mindsets that cause this bias don't infect the next technological world powers is something to keep in mind.
</rant>

an afterthought: putting science-based toys and construction sets such as lego, the starter to any engineering career, under 'toys for boys' in shops really doesn't help. do you numbnuts in marketing know what damage you could be causing?!

nerd comics

i didn't think that beat frequencies in various aspects of life interested others too: http://xkcd.com/165/

other neat comics:
http://xkcd.com/327/
http://xkcd.com/379/
http://xkcd.com/55/
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=8
http://xkcd.com/198/
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=905
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1012
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=858

oh...
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=868

mic mods

i am not impressed with the ecm8000's ~20dB of self noise; maybe i shouldn't have so hastily procured 6 of them!

anyway, mod time it is, with instructions and recommended parts kindly posted by others (thank you!):
http://homerecording.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=111051
http://www.prodigy-pro.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3626&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=ecm8000&start=27
http://www.linkwitzlab.com/sys_test.htm (scroll to the mic section)

seeing as i am currently financially challenged to the point where i should probably buy food over audio gear, it's an opportune time to start learning how to mod mics and maybe even diy. now, where is my soldering iron?! long time no see, my friend...

holy crap. even my laptop has ~20dB of self-noise on the on-board mic input. poor form; i can't hack this card up either!

toywrecking

wow: i didn't get in any trouble whatsoever for breaking the little recorder (thank you!). even though i didn't really break it (i don't think): seemed more like an electrical problem than a dumb user fault. i even psyched myself up for a torrent of swearing which thankfully didn't eventuate. from previous experience that would have sent me sprinting for cover; even in my incapacitated state.

come to think of it, even my supervisor didn't get cranky at me for breaking an expensive monitor last year. and i really did break that one. perhaps people have come to terms with my accident-prone nature and are more forgiving than i am (towards myself!).

I just received a letter from my beloved educational institution inviting me to an ICT careers evening. Not promising from an ICT point of view when the letter failed to be mail merged properly: 'Dear <first name>' is simply lame. How can I place trust in and recommend an institution that doesn't (properly) practice what it preaches?!

On a more pleasant note amongst a dump of miscellaneous sleep-deprived thoughts, I think I've found a new favourite microphone; such a nice response with clean and crisp sound, unlike the one with 20dB self-noise! If I don't drink coffee for 150 days, I might even be able to afford my own... caffeine vs. gear... gear vs. caffeine... oh and I was also taken with the monitor stands at the con too... hmmm... no coffee for a year?!

red red wine...

i've finally found a red that i like: lambrusco! 'soft' it may be but so long as it tastes good i don't care. i am no longer homogeneously white!

oh shit. the little recorder won't turn on... fuck!

A ∩ B = Ø

fuck: stereo diffusion as a lame excuse for multichannel reproduction; interesting ideas with poor technical implementation; misunderstanding and misuse of technology (misuse of dsp techniques really makes me cranky!!!); stupidly long compositions; and, playing stuff straight out of protools or a dvd player in a 'live' gig. just getting a sound engineer to press play is poor form: live means actually doing something, you lazy arse! and why sine tones?! especially high frequency ones, eek! perhaps i am just scarred from having to listen to too many test tones...

back to my day job it is. there is a limited intersection between these two worlds; i don't know what i was thinking. where are the well thought-out, awesome ideas that push boundaries, question, comment?! only one person really piqued my interest. ONE.

blood tastes metallic

you incessant fool! you've stooped to a level so low that there is absolutely no return path. ever. fine, play your petty little games through translucent falsity, but don't you dare tell people untrue shit about me. i don't care about why you're fabricating codswallop: fuck you and your selfish lack of ethics and disappearing conscience. a (carnivorous) fish much bigger and smarter than me will chew you up and spit out the bones; don't expect me to garbage collect when that day comes. what do you expect when you treat people with blatant disrespect? i don't know what world you've constructed for yourself but you and i will never see eye to eye. think it's personal? fucking right it's personal.

conformance testing

play music, learn a second language, study hard, go to uni, become a professional, get married, move out of home, buy a house, have kids, save money for retirement, and repeat. stopping to think twice about this paved path that so many have trodden on and then looked back forlornly, has thrown me off it for good. such cultural straight and narrows have been my bugbears for so long it's time to crash tackle them. it only takes one bad egg to stink out the nest, and catalytically so if that egg came out a funny shape and has no shame or fear of smells wafting to the neighbours. sniff away!

certain aspects of my semi-culture are great, but then there are the questionables: the boxes that i refuse to tick without some reasonable explanation and justification as to why they're there. it doesn't help that culture has a large part to play in shaping people's views, expectations, and beliefs; all of which i like to question and push the limits of. so, it's time to make people feel uncomfortable and prod them ask themselves the hard questions. this is not out of spite but because the prejudices that i have seen are logically unfounded. no more bleating sheep, please!

kamikaze volunteer?

starting on the same note as the previous post finished, i'm beginning to warm to the idea of 'infiltration from the inside'. that is, donate my time to the grand wyd08, with the sole intention of kicking up a shit and getting booted out. how long would one expect young catholic pilgrims to tolerate someone hellbent on a mission to rampage?

yay or nay?

ignorance is not bliss

i'm oblivious, and i wish i wasn't! i wish that i could pick up on the non-verbal signals that people send me, consciously or unconsciously. but, still i remain thick as a post, try as i might to to be the reverse.

on a totally different note: official wyd merchandise?? what the hell?! is this commercialisation of religion or what! far out.

concrete filter

oh i love the dungeon! today there's someone singing next door, adding some vocal texture to my usual playlist of instrumental electronica. but, if i can hear him, i presume that he can hear me! but his nice voice, although filtered through a concrete wall, would sound so much better than my incessant tappings on the keyboard, interspersed with bursts of frustrated swearing at my petulant code. just as well i've taken my violin home, otherwise the sounds of a dying cat would surely throw this eclectic aural mix.

braindead. again.

i long for just one day where i don't have to think. no problems, be it from politics, people, or the constant pain of phd. someone please just pull me by the nose and spoonfeed me information. menial labour never looked so enticing...

tight with pants but not $$$

is the poor student an endangered species? time-poor they may be, but certainly not economically poor, judging by the arrays of fancy cars, long lines at the coffee shops and the bar, not to mention the ever-changing fashion trends making trails around the place (even down at the traditionally nerdy end of campus!). oh why are tight black jeans back in fashion for men?! i'm not sure that tight pants are good for anyone's health.

pants aside, i wonder at how increasingly affluent students are changing the tertiary education landscape and student community. laptops, mobile phones, lattes, and bug-eye sunglasses (corey worthington you have a lot to answer to!) are a staple for incoming students. has high school mentality seeped into the tertiary world? and how limited are the days of the struggling student, working two jobs whilst juggling textbooks and painting passionate placards for anti-war protests? perhaps the negative correlation between student affluence (read: apathy) and student activism is monotonically increasing. or is there a generation gap and ideology shift that, in my failure to understand either, simply shows my age and itch to change scenery...

timing timing timing

please return my brain space that you've unconsciously and unknowingly occupied! it's not your fault though and certainly not your words. but perhaps your actions had some part to play, they have always spoken a different language. as much as i love to daydream, it's not making this c program code itself any faster. and i don't know what spurred your change in interaction, but alas the timing! such mismatched timing is somewhat ironic given that time delay estimation is my technical specialty... but even that doesn't work right now!! damn code.

checkmate

my brain hurts. a lot. and often. having to think at your level for so long has taken its toll: i'm mentally exhausted. it's very unnatural for me and i'd much rather use that wasted head space for issues and people that really matter; you've completely redefined the meaning of petty. but you've probably been like this the whole time and i've just had my head and hands in the sands of my philosophical worlds. having to deal with your level of low is quashing my spirit and truly testing my patience and optimism; but i'm far too tired to be angry anymore, now i'm just sad. i'm either going to crawl back into and hibernate in my shell or land with all guns blazing. but i've wasted enough on you. shell, it is. o curse'd human greed!

prescription factory

oh the medical centre in town, how i hold fond memories of this place! my favourite recollection is being told that i couldn't possibly ever have skin cancer because i am asian, regardless of the fact that i have been baking under our ozone hole for a some time (as should be evident by my accent!). sitting in the waiting room and observing the goings on for at most 20 minutes today, that same doctor churned through at least five patients in that time; an impressive and worrying throughput by any standard. why is it no mean feat to find a decent medical professional, be it a gp, dentist, optometrist or physio (I was told repeatedly by one that I had torn my ankle ligaments, a diagnosis quickly dispelled by a second opinion)?!

Self-Preservation

Salting, drying, making jam out of, or soaking myself in brine or vinegar doesn't sound enticing. An alternative: I need some acting skills. And I need them now. Curse those who unconsciously (or consciously!) force me to act and be false to deal with them so that I don't crumble in an sad, angry heap on the floor. Perhaps I should learn (by osmosis?) from those careening about outside my dungeon of an office. They're good enough to fool me: screaming, crying and what not, creating a lively soundscape resembling a midday soap opera in the corridor. I love the sounds of creative life in the background of fantastically loud Paganini; but I just wish that I could be as emotionally convincing! So please, any takers on helping me with some acting advice?! I don't have much trading currency, but I can barter with you for food, nerd gear, philosophical discussion, or skills in milking the udders of this (educational) institution...

affluent vibes

the demographics of my current locale are baffling. i've been stationed temporarily in the northern suburbs, cosily sandwiched between the lush escarpment and beautiful beaches at the foot of an aptly named street; i'd most delightedly stay here permanently if my finances and fitness acquiesced! but, hobbling down the main streets leaves me wondering why multiculturalism stopped a few townships south. the locals are predominantly friendly anglo-saxons; it's quite obvious from spending a few minutes observing the passers-by and the types of shops and restaurants lining the arterial. it's been a while since i've felt out of place, and even longer since i've been asked if i can speak english! anyone who has heard me speak two words will know that i can sound like an ocker lout, despite my misleading appearance. sure, real estate is a little bit more pricey up this end of town, but that can't be the reason why there is a drought of ethnicity. there's certainly a different vibe here though, and it intensifies the further north you go. not sure how to describe said vibe (upper middle class with an abundance of well groomed and walked pet dogs?), but if ever we had a north shore fused with the eastern suburbs...

our vampiric nation

what is it with rudd and his silver bullets? or lack thereof? apparently the budget wasn't a SB for 'working families', he hasn't a SB for the current petrol prices, the housing affordability 'crisis', climate change, nor inflation. with our lovely pm looking for so many silver bullets for our country's problems, i'm beginning to think that rudd may in fact be trying to be a real-life buffy. scary thought.

2 more sleeps to go!

the time is nigh: i am cutting my metaphysical tails off with a philosophical sledgehammer in hand, or more fittingly, in mind. i generally don't subscribe to institutions, and particularly not this one: bound to such transient, whimsical, and hypocritical rules. a long time coming, methinks.

dammit: i need to learn not to feel bad for people, especially after they've pulled me through the mud and then some. out, damned empathy! out, i say!

Straight from the Doc

Two orthopaedic surgeons and one physio have all brought an alarming statistic to my attention: women are up to 7 times more likely than men to tear their ACLs - dammit! Being the curious creature that I am, I've been trying to find out why. I haven't had a chance to ask the first surgeon, the physio doesn't know, and today the second surgeon kindly shed some light about some current academic theories: women land differently to men when they jump, we have a different pelvis size, hormonal cycles, different body shape, and different bone size around the knee (the gap that the ACL sits in is narrower in women), just to name a few. So maybe I'm not as clumsy as I think... A quick google search brings up a bit of quite recent literature on this topic, and mostly from US universities. Perhaps a possible topic for my next PhD??

Dr Knee mentioned another statistic that he himself finds alarming: 70-80% of the ACL reconstructions he has performed this year are on under 20 year olds! That's awfully young, and the reasons for this are even more unknown: perhaps because young people are physically larger than they used to be (overnutrition from too much spinach?), and the increase in weight is greater than the load expected by growing joints? Maybe evolution will slowly take place to alleviate this interesting trend, otherwise orthopaedic surgeons in developed countries will be laughing all the way from their consultation rooms to the operating theatres...

mri faces

I finally got onto a Windows machine to look at my MRI DVD. Surely, medical imaging software can be made cross-platform, or am I at the mercy of emulators? And, are you telling me that all doctors (well, radiologists and specialists) run Windows? Nooooo.....

Anyway, some interesting visuals into my inner workings (and how a knee should not look):

This little piggy went to market...

There are muscles (and tendons) amongst the flab (see leg ham image)...

Who would have thought my knee had a face?

Maybe this is why I couldn't straighten my leg, and farewell my dear ACL...

But, at least the PCL is ok!

I am amazed at how medical imaging and diagnostic tools have technologically progressed to show fascinating detail; I am accident-prone enough to almost be able to reconstruct my entire body from medical diagnostic images in their various forms - I really do have to thank Medicare for assisting me to grow my collection!

'nuff said

This real estate listing speaks for itself, and it's been listed for some time now...

INNOVATION CAMPUS - Squires Way, Fairy Meadow
Commercial For Lease $1 per Week + GST

Singing in the rain

a singing umbrella?
tf spkrs
electret or digi mics?
rt dsp: respond to env, speech distort
parabolic focusing: open and shut

Positive applications only!

Research in informatics engineering severely hampers itself with a long-standing 'positive results bias' for publications, now alarmingly coupled together with a more recent trend: application-focused research. So not only do research results have to improve upon previous work, the research also has to have a tangible and obvious application. Gone are the days of researching ideas and presenting these ideas for shared academic innovation at conferences. Now, if research does not 'solve' a problem, then it is deemed unfocused and useless. But without theory there are no applications, or have we become so arrogant, complacent, and market-driven that even theory has to have a tangible, saleable outcome? Has all research morphed into 'applied theory'?

If one stopped to think for long enough, negative research results are actually positive results: someone has investigated an idea that evidently doesn't work, and by publishing these 'negative' results, this then deters future researchers from going down the same forsaken path. But no, for some reason, (informatics) engineers and computer scientists can't think outside their boxes to come up with novel applications for new theories, or see the merit in 'negative' results for future intellectual benefit.

Cynical? Never. Defeated? Probably. *sigh* Just give me a minute to crawl back into the box sold to me by my profession and educational institution. I've wandered out of it for long enough to draw significant attention to myself. Wouldn't want to be different. Oh no.

the modern crusaders

christian social justice 'crusaders': just waiting for my thoughts to congeal before i rant...

No roads to 2020?

Did I miss something or was there little discussion and few real outcomes regarding the future of Australia's (engineering) infrastructure last weekend? I have yet to come across anything concrete addressing water, energy, transport, communications, and other (physical and intellectual) infrastructure; granted, it's not very interesting to hear discussions about such dry things during a public summit, but that's no reason to skirt over the issues. Or is it? Let us not forget about how behind we are, compared to the US, Europe, and now Asia, in terms of technological innovation (read: more and better allocated research funding, investment, and industry support please!).

Rudd has an obvious focus on social justice (for the bush and in town), especially in the area of education reform. It's great that schools will have computers, but without the Internet and other communications infrastructure (especially in regional areas), education will always be ten steps behind. Just in case I really have missed something whilst skimming the piles of reports and summaries generated from the weekend, I'll stop here and do some more reading (for my PhD, of course). More later.

Room for me, you, you, you, and you

I am fascinated by how most Hong Kong families manage to live together in such close proximity in cramped spaces without overly driving each other insane or resorting to gross physical violence. Space is a huge issue in Hong Kong, which is bursting at the seams with a population of almost 7 million squished into 1104 km². Put two and two together and you get an overall population density of more than 6300 people per km². Although the Tourist Board makes one believe that Hong Kong is made up of shopping malls, stockbrokers, and investment banks, in actual fact the highly steep mountainous geography lends itself to only 25% of the land being developed (in mind bogglingly high density), and 40% officially designed as country parks and nature reserves. So the above figure of population density is very misleading: it's probably more along the lines of 25200 people per km² if not more, since most of the population is concentrated in Kowloon and Hong Kong Island. The up side is that Hong Kong is the only mega-metropolis that I have visited that boasts so much accessible greenery, with an uncountable number of unspoilt mountains, bays, beaches, lakes, and rivers. If you've ever wondered why a team of Hong Kong men win the Oxfam Sydney Trailwalker, year in year out, it's because they have far superior training grounds; in fact, the Trailwalker event started in Hong Kong as a training exercise for the British military!

Traditionally, Chinese customs and culture has the family living together in one abode (which would have been an estate of multiple buildings in the past). If you combine such traditions with the lack of space in Hong Kong, you end up with the normality of having extended family, sometimes spanning up to three or four generations in the same home. It is relatively rare, but increasingly popular, to have young people in 'share houses' as is common in the West: children often do not move out until they are married, and young families often take in their elderly parents to look after them. In addition to Chinese traditions, the Confucian principle of filial piety and the ridiculous costs of real estate (rent or buy) lead to family being the default choice for housemates.

Cramped housing is by no means unique to Hong Kong, as most under-developed countries are victim to this. But the image that Hong Kong promotes is one of affluence, abundant material comfort, and capitalist-driven sophistication. In reality, the Kowloon Walled City was only demolished in 1993 (which had a population density of 1923077/km² in its high days); odd dwellings still exist in forms such as the famous Chungking Mansions in Tsim Sha Tsui; whilst about 100 'cage' houses are allegedly hidden amongst the alleys between giant highrises. Such dwellings are tiny apartments subdivided into 'cages', with cages stacked in twos and threes, where each cage only has enough room for one bed. The exact number of 'cage people' varies from 900 to 10000, depending on the source; sadly, 70% of the inhabitants are elderly singles with no family. Hong Kong's continuing housing problems stem from its history since the refugee influx from the civil war, Japanese occupation, and communist takeover in China during the 1930s-50s, where immigrant workers flocked to the territory chasing opportunities in Hong Kong's growing economy, industries, and trade.

Living with at least two generations of the same family is troublesome enough before you throw in the complication of limited space. Hong Kong apartments are tiny, and a steady 50% of the population have been residing in public housing estates over the last 20 years, due to the exorbitant costs of private housing. This trend began after the immigrant squatter fires in Shek Kip Mei in 1953, which left 53000 people homeless overnight. This disaster forced the Hong Kong Government to provide emergency housing in the form of multi-storey utilitarian single-room dwellings for families: each unit was 24-28m² in size, housed 5 people (if not more), with washing and toilet facilities communal to each floor. The Shek Kip Mei housing estate thus set the standard for Hong Kong public housing policy; public housing estates have since spawned all over the territory with the average space per person increasing from 6.2m² in 1988 to 12.2m² in 2007.

The obvious conflicts that ensue from cramped family housing are often depicted and parodied in Hong Kong TV series, which is what intrigues me about such sitcoms (apart from the language practice - I love the colourful slang unique to Cantonese!). Yes, Hong Kong's movie industry is famous for its martial arts and cop flicks, but the TV sitcoms quite accurately reflect the daily goings-on for the local lower to middle-class Chinese: the blatant lack of privacy at home, juggling family relationships, and having to share space within the home as well as at work and in public. In conjunction with reading academic texts, watching sitcoms that my Grandma records from TV is about as close as I'm going to get to understanding Hong Kong culture and everyday family life. It looks like personal space, which is something that I treasure, will have to reconciled with if I'm to pursue my desired stints in South-East or East Asia!

o curse'd (financial) engineers!

Macquarie Bank: stop poaching engineers! Engineers: did you really pay $24000 and commit to 20 contact hours a week for 4 years (that's 2080 hours in total!) to end up strutting around wearing crispy suits in Martin Place, stuck in a cubicle writing financial software? Or did the salary package just prove too tempting? It pains me to see such technically able graduates wooed so blatantly by money. Mind you, the actual fashion of suits has its allure when worn well, but that allure is quickly lost amongst the pomp of corporate etiquette: five minutes in Martin Place and I'm ready to run screaming. But I do have to give M'Bank credit for recognising the problem solving skills of engineers, but I'm not such a fan of exploiting them for merchant banking. I'm going to sound arrogantly elitist but 'financial engineering' is just not engineering, dammit!

I'd much rather see these young minds engaged in 'real' engineering professions, be it building infrastructure or adding to intellectual capital, rather than simply making themselves and Allan Moss (soon to morph into Nicholas Moore) richer. But what can I do but attempt to indoctrinate students (preferably impressionable first-years, before it's too late!) with my left-wing ideology and propaganda? It's probably a hard task to achieve, when engineers are notoriously stuck in the boxes they put themselves in and few have enough of a real passion for their work to not be lured by the human construct of material wealth that is money. But now I have another dilemma: which of the lesser evils does one recommend to money-hungry budding engineers, merchant banking or mining?!

The infinite sides of a circle

Tibet and China: their long history has given birth to many complicated political, military, social, and economic issues that dictate their relationship today. Tibet is the highest (plateau) region on Earth, located in at an average elevation of 4900m. Nestled into the feet of The Himalayas, this mountain range stretches between Tibet and Central and South Asia, making the Tibetan Plateau a key geographical stronghold for China as it overlooks the People's Republic. And, if one were to stage a military attack from that direction, you'll have conquer the Himalayas first. So, in terms of national security, the Chinese are not going to release this strategic spot without a nasty fight. And the biggest losers in this fight will be the Tibetan people, and this will not be a fair fight for the people who have been subject to unrest for most of their existence.

A forage into Tibet's long and varied history helps to lend some insight as to how and why Tibet has been contested over for so long and by whom: many have dipped their fingers (or rather, smashed their fists) into the honey-pot, including Mongolia, India, China, Nepal, and Britain. The current controversy over Tibet presumably stems from the Chinese claim over Tibet by the Communists, led by Mao Zedong in 1950. Yes, atrocities were conducted in the name of social, religious, and land reform: the oppression on the Lamas caused rampant civil unrest and guerrilla warfare; the Dalai Lama, with the help of the CIA, fled to refuge in India, who was politically pressured by the US and Britain to take in the Tibetan refugees. But, amidst the oppression, slavery and serfdom were abolished, and road infrastructure was built to India, Nepal and Pakistan. Then the Cultural Revolution and the Red Guards (who included Tibetans) inflicted more horrendous atrocities, particularly on the Buddhist heritage inherent to the Tibetan culture. The exact numbers of monasteries destroyed, and monks and nuns imprisoned, tortured, and/or killed varies depending on whose version of events you want to believe. Economic (but not political) reform has been in place since 1979: limited religious freedom has been returned, but controversy surrounds the whereabouts of the 11th Panchen Lama (allegedly secretly protected in Beijing), and the selection of the next Dalai Lama; these issues are highly contentious and are yet to be resolved.

History aside, the current situation in Tibet can draw many similarities from colonised countries and their relationship with their Indigenous peoples. The difference, however, is that Tibet is not a Chinese 'colony' as such, but the problematic complications of having many ethnic minorities within an ethnic majority parallel those from the colonisation of lands with Indigenous peoples. China's ethnic majority are the Han people (91.9% of the population), and China officially recognises 55 ethnic minorities and the Taiwanese Indigenous people (which is sub-classified in to 13 groups by the ROC Taiwanese Government). Unrecognised groups (over 730 000 people) include foreign nationals who are Chinese citizens, whilst Hong Kong and Macau are not even included in this demographic audit. Ethnic minorities can differ greatly in appearance, religion, beliefs, customs, traditions, lifestyle, dialect or language. Parts of Western China can resemble the Middle East with mosques outnumbering the stereotypical Chinese architecture, and the regions that border the former Soviet Union are home to people with piercing blue eyes and blond hair who speak perfect dialects of Chinese. As always, looks are deceiving and all these regions and people are Chinese and China officially recognises them as so.

So was China picking on Tibet during the Cultural Revolution? Across China during the Revolution, alleged counter-revolutionaries, intellectuals, religious figures, artists, and writers were persecuted, 're-educated', tortured, killed, or all of the above. No religious activities were allowed: temples, churches and mosques were destroyed all over China. Ancient buildings and historical sites, antiques, books, art, and other artifacts of Chinese culture and customs were completely purged. The ethnic minorities of China suffered the most: not only the Tibetans but alleged separatists in Inner Mongolia were witch-hunted, Muslims were persecuted, Quarans destroyed, and the Hui (Muslim) people massacred, Korean language schools smashed, and royal palaces of people from the Yunnan province burnt to the ground. By no account am I excusing China from taking responsibility for past actions of oppression and invasion in Tibet, but the human rights abuses and destruction of heritage during the Cultural Revolution was not specific to Tibet or the Tibetan people.

With such an ethnically diverse population, the Chinese Government has a full plate on its hands to ensure cultural preservation and equal rights for all ethnicities. China's laws now guarantee equal rights to and actively promotes the (often preferential) economic and cultural development of all ethnic minorities in China. Numbers-wise, ethnic minorities are not bound to the one-child policy, and as a result the growth of ethnic minority populations is faster than that of the Han majority. Ethnic minorities also often reside in regional 'autonomous areas', where freedom of religion (subject to Governmental approval), culture, traditions, customs, festivals, and ethnic languages (with Mandarin as the official language) are allowed and transport infrastructure has been built. Many monasteries, mosques and other places of religious worship have been rebuilt, repaired, and reopened to the public. In addition, minorities are represented at all levels of Government, educational institutions have been established for ethnic minorities, and health care for ethnic minorities is being continually improved and addressed. These multi-faceted levels of recognition of ethnic minorities and respect for diverse traditions, cultures, and customs, although far from perfect as the economic development allegedly favours Han people in 'autonomous areas' and human rights abuses and oppression are allegedly still in force, still far surpasses the respect shown by many Western countries to their Indigenous people and ethnic minorities.

So, before one blindly berates the Chinese for the human rights abuses in Tibet, consider looking in your own backyard at how your Indigenous people and ethnic minorities were and are being treated. Now multiply those problems by a factor of about a hundred to cater for all the ethnic minorities in China: sounds hard, right? If Tibet were to be granted independence based upon ethnic considerations, what about the other Chinese ethnic minorities: why aren't their homelands granted independence as well? If that were the case, China has a high probability of dissolving into the civil unrest of warring states, which as history tells, simply does not work for anyone involved. But the dissolution of China would certainly wipe this growing economic giant off the map, and who would this benefit the most? Furthermore, the Tibetan Autonomous Region in China encompasses the provinces of Ü-Tsang and western Kham in traditional Tibet; Amdo and eastern Kham are now in regions of the Sichuan, Qinghai, Gansu, and Yunnan provinces. To ask for independence for Tibet would mean breaking up these Chinese provinces, and this is no easy task.

Doesn't anyone else find it hypocritical that countries such as the US are jumping up and down over human rights issues in China when it very poorly treats its native Americans, still practises capital punishment, is largely responsible for the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and now the global 'war on terror', Guantanamo Bay, and the obvious racism rife in its own country? Dare I mention our sunburnt country and its history and current relationship with the Indigenous peoples, and our refugee policy? Yes, China has a very dirty record of human rights, but so does just about everyone else. And why kick up a stink now and not five, ten, fifty years ago? Oh right.There wasn't an Olympics then and Chinese economy and communist Government didn't hold so much power and influence.

I'm sitting on the fence with this one: I declare myself far too ignorant of the issues and cultures involved to be worthy of forming a valid and useful opinion. I would like to see peace returned to the Tibetan region and its people, but at the moment both sides are steadfastly holding onto their demands such that nothing can be achieved. In the meantime, I do wish that people would stop to think, and consider that perhaps the issues are not as clear-cut as they seem, and that the media (Western and otherwise) don't always tell the whole story as they are playing out their own agenda and/or reporting to higher powers. So, before you hastily download an opinion and run out protesting for one side or the other, get informed and then make your own mind up from the contradictory information from Tibet's ancient history to now. Who's right? Who knows, but more than enough people have suffered and died already that more ignorance is not going to do anyone any favours. That and people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

man overboard

The biggest problem with x's is dealing with the y's: oh what the heck was I thinking? Well, evidently I wasn't thinking much at all: the transient emotions of my youth were protesting with catchy placards and yelling louder than my always-reasoning mind.

You obviously don't know me very well if you feel the need to ring me out of the blue to 'catch up'. What am I, a fool to fall for that? Well, maybe, but I don't do chit-chat. And if you still don't know this by now, I have nothing more to say other than to berate myself for my own blind stupidity.

My intuition, disguised as an ever-present guardian fairy perched upon my shoulder, whispers that you rang just to tell me that you're seeing a new girl; but your biggest mistake was to forget, or not even realise, that I don't care. It's not personal, I just don't trouble myself with the personal relationships of others; I trust and respect people to make the decisions that are best for them. And when they don't, that's not my problem. And I am just not an emotional person; I openly admit it: I'm cold-hearted. So please don't delude yourself into thinking that I will be jealous, regret that I cut loose, or succumb to some such emotion: I really don't care so please don't waste my time. I don't play games with people and I don't have time for people who do: two fools in one house are too many.

A plague o' all your houses! Is religion a viral infection?

Antibiotics don't work; drinking plenty of water with rest doesn't make it go away; and, once the virus takes hold of its host, it feeds to fulfillment before propagating to find new victims. People who are carriers of the virus but do not consciously infect others recognise that spirituality is a personal pursuit, and thus have a respect for others' beliefs. I have mutual respect for those who respect me and accept me for who I am. But, I have serious gripes with over-zealous religious extremists and evangelists: people who believe that they are doing the right thing and 'helping' others (and their own supposed salvation) by 'spreading the word' of their chosen Lord to all and sundry, regardless of peoples' existing cultures, beliefs, and religions. And, what exactly is the difference between religions and cults? Because one labels the other as so is but a weak retort; many religions often start as a 'cult',and morph into classification as a religion as the mainstream population is indoctrinated.

Religion, the oft-proclaimed saviour of human souls, is often the cause of more grief than grace; food for thought can be harvested from the Crusades, Saxon Wars, the various Inquisitions, The Troubles, the ongoing Arab-Israeli conflict - the list goes on. Following a doctrine that wages wars and commits genocide, all for the cause of mono-religious ideals, doesn't sound like a doctrine that values and appreciates differences in people, cultures, and philosophies. Such seemingly noble belief systems that led to essentially inhumane actions would appear to be rooted in hypocrisy, if not also in irrationality and justified only by blind spiritual faith.

So why are the most brilliant of scientists also the most evangelical followers? How do they separate the unquestioned faith required for religion with the rational, evidence-based mindset of science? Some insist that religion stems from proven historical events, but history itself often has the bias of whoever authored the text. Spirituality is also a vulnerable human asset: someone who, or something that, can seemingly provide answers and a path to follow can easily target the emotional comfort of wandering souls who are vulnerable, gullible, and unable, unwilling, or choose not to find and forge their own yellow-brick road.

Manipulation and taking advantage of another's mindset or situation (religious aid, anyone?) is not a very nice thing to do; to think that one's beliefs is the only right set of beliefs is myopic, closed-minded, presumptuous, ignorant, arrogant, and just plain rude: no one has the right to tell anyone else what is right for them; especially in such personal choices that affect one's ideologies and life philosophies. Such spiritual imperialism is surely a contradiction of the religiously independent, human 'moral values' of acceptance and tolerance, or are these values malleable and subject to selective and contextual interpretation at will?

So thanks but no thanks: please keep your germs to yourself. I appreciate that you are trying to help me (and help you), but I am quite content to be condemned to all the different Hells, wherever they may be. Or are they all the same Hell, with one suburb for each religion and cult? That's no problem: I like travelling - just blame it all on my morbid, overbearing, and insatiable sense of curiousity. Curiousity killed the cat, right?

Diary of Incapacitation

I'm yellow from a Betadine bath and making involuntary crunching sounds with my fashionable green paper legwarmer. Guards up: it's time to go. Wheels in motion, the ceiling floats by and peering faces block the flying lights that line the sterile corridors. You talk to me, and although I'm jabbering away, my mind is on a philosophical plane far, far away, trying to escape the events that are soon to occur. Although, I do have enough coherent brain space to wonder why there is an oxygen tank in the lift. Drs Drugs joke and poke, and I stare at the huge dishes of theatre light; I'm freaking out, this is the point of no return. Oh, what have I done?! IV in, lights down. Is that you, Dr Knee?

How's the pain, you ask? 8, and I'm shivering. But I can't tell if I feel cold or not. I think it's cold and it looks cold, but I'm just not sure. Morphine and blankets: now its a 6 but I'm still shivering. More morphine and I'm suddenly all nice and warm. It's great: I can't feel a thing, half my brain is asleep and the other half is a fuzzy haze, and my body has stopped trying to find its resonant frequency. Ooh, I'm happy, very relaxed, and I want to eat! You poke your head through the door and your face instantly changes from an expression of investigative curiosity to brotherly concern. I've never seen you look like that before: am I in that bad a state? But now I can't even put a sentence together to assure you that I'm not actually in any pain: I can't seem to stop sleep from taking over. Left eye: open! Right eye: open! Now both together: open! Open, dammit! *retch* Oh, those horrid anaesthetics - o wherefore art thou Dr Drugs?!

life philosophies

the chinese coin: square on the inside and round on the outside. be adaptable and roll.

buddhist monks, a river, and a girl: don't hold onto rules, the past, and grudges - let baggage go, don't carry burdens.

time is mortally limited and irreplaceable; money is a human construct of replaceable material wealth.

friends will come and go. let them go.

human nature: greed, pride, ego.

Volunteering for whose benefit?

John Butler Trio, Missy Higgins, Crowded House, Good Vibrations Festival: pick me, pick me, pick me! Keith Urban: deathly silence. No offence to and nothing implied about Keith Urban and his music; his target audience and fan base is simply not the young Uni crowd. But, should that deter young social justice campaigners from volunteering their time and skills? Or, are we at the stage where volunteering is a selective experience: the key question is 'what's in it for me'? The question then is WHY do people volunteer? I naively thought that it was a blanket active optimism and hope for a fairer and better world, and to simply donate one's time and skills for helping others, unconditionally and without expectation.

Witnessing the shift in volunteering mentality on a Uni campus over the last few years has changed my views. I'd rather not admit a generation gap between myself and the young 'uns, but perhaps that's exactly what it is. To attract the current 'me me me' generation, you have to offer them something in return. And apparently a free ticket to a Keith Urban gig is not enough. So what is? Recognition? Kudos? A certificate? A medal?

Volunteering is probably considered to be essentially selfish by the cynical, as you do make yourself feel better by helping others or promoting worthwhile causes. But, we are now dealing with a whole new level of selfishness: the 'feel good' factor is not enough. Has it ever been enough? Uni clubs often reel in new executives and members by pulling the line 'it'll look good on your CV!'. What about simply contributing and giving back to the Uni community and reviving the waning, expensive social atmosphere (thanks VSU!)? Has the nature of volunteering changed such that volunteers look for self-gain or self-promotion over (or disguised within) helping others - in that case, who are you really helping? Or have I just had my head in the sand? Probably.

Don't even get me started on religious motivations for volunteering: fear of external damnation and refused salvation by one's chosen Lord by not spreading the word through actions, or even worse, community work or aid with a religious agenda. That's a rant worthy of its own post.

To rant

Doctorates ailing on the world stage

Over-zealous, viral Christians: personal vs. public religion